dizzying feeling reflecting on why i carry my bag everywhere i go and why i'm terrified of buying a home - while thinking of the 1000 ways in which i justify all these actions. Thanks for sharing Rich!
I'm struck by how good a job you did in protecting yourself. From the initial dog, then with the stick from future dogs. I'm curious as to whether, after having the realization and bringing the purpose of the stick into your consciousness, it feels shameful to have it, or whether it can feel good as a strategy you've found to protect yourself that's wise and appropriate.
Can't wait for the second week of the course. I'm learning a lot so far, and it's been enjoyable to have you leading it.
good question! I think I'm happy with the stick. it creates safety for me so I can be more relaxed with dogs; hopefully that will help me repattern my relationship with them. I would feel more ashamed if I were making no headway towards loving dogs again. we had 36 good years and then out of the blue I got attacked and now I am uptight with them and can't vibe :(
Thanks for this reflection. It mirrored a similar pattern for me, which is very helpful as I don't have access to K. And, btw, braver for sharing your vulnerability than confronting the beast.
ya for me ketamine is like... what happens when some of my mental processes get switched out for an hour. it’s almost like prototyping new subsystems from different personalities or something. hard to describe. but yes, generally I find it very introspective and revelatory.
yeah the new season of slow horses is on apple tv+, it’s excellent so far, as always
TV shows? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Un_passo_dal_cielo
Set in the Dolomites, lol
dizzying feeling reflecting on why i carry my bag everywhere i go and why i'm terrified of buying a home - while thinking of the 1000 ways in which i justify all these actions. Thanks for sharing Rich!
Great post!!!!! I notice this too.
Thanks for sharing this. Feels so familiar. I wonder if everyone does this?
Brilliant insight, love how you say “catching yourself in the act,” because that’s exactly how it feels.
What a great piece, Rich.
I'm struck by how good a job you did in protecting yourself. From the initial dog, then with the stick from future dogs. I'm curious as to whether, after having the realization and bringing the purpose of the stick into your consciousness, it feels shameful to have it, or whether it can feel good as a strategy you've found to protect yourself that's wise and appropriate.
Can't wait for the second week of the course. I'm learning a lot so far, and it's been enjoyable to have you leading it.
good question! I think I'm happy with the stick. it creates safety for me so I can be more relaxed with dogs; hopefully that will help me repattern my relationship with them. I would feel more ashamed if I were making no headway towards loving dogs again. we had 36 good years and then out of the blue I got attacked and now I am uptight with them and can't vibe :(
Thanks for this reflection. It mirrored a similar pattern for me, which is very helpful as I don't have access to K. And, btw, braver for sharing your vulnerability than confronting the beast.
Great story! Do you think there is something specific about the experience of ketamine that helped you notice yourself doing that?
ya for me ketamine is like... what happens when some of my mental processes get switched out for an hour. it’s almost like prototyping new subsystems from different personalities or something. hard to describe. but yes, generally I find it very introspective and revelatory.
Beautiful brother.
ketamine has been a deep brother to me in this time of transition and grief.
So many gifts from going deep into this medicine, assisted by a skilled therapist who knows its ways.
wow.
Bless you on your journey.